Have you ever rolled your eyes at a colleague who tries to get everything perfect? Or gossiped about someone better at work than you? Have you laughed at people who are clumsy at their work and need help? Or criticised yourself for not having the courage to speak like your friend?
We’ve all done that. Anybody who says that they don’t judge is either lying or has no awareness about their self. Nature designed our mind to judge things for our survival. So, it categorises people, places and things as good or bad for us. So also sensations, emotions and thoughts.
And this was useful in the animal ancestor days when everything was about survival. Thus we began to desire those things and experiences that our mind categorised as good for us. And resist and reject those which it categorised as bad or unsafe. Then there are neutral objects and people that we haven’t yet experienced. So we leave them neutral till we experience them first-hand or by reading or social media. Thus everything that we experience is filtered, categorised, and dealt with unconsciously by the mind.
The funny thing about being judgemental about people is that it doesn’t do much harm to person being judged as much as it harms you. Because judging them is about you. You place them in a position compared to you and your limited experiences. So you place them either higher than you and let your self-esteem go low (I wish I had their perseverance). Or you give them a lower status than you where you enjoy a sense of accomplishment (What a jerk – can’t do one thing on their own). Both the low self-esteem and the sense of achievement are relative to that one person or experience. But the stress it causes in your brain takes you away from the moment.
All you need to do is acknowledge their characteristics without judging them. When you judge someone you also judge yourself in comparison to them. So you either suffer from low self-esteem or arrogance. And this causes stress. And you ignore the neutral people, objects and feelings which help you to be present in the moment.
Thoughts, feelings and emotions are not good or bad. Same is true of people and things. They may be difficult or enjoyable or even un-namable and not noticeable. But facing them, acknowledging them without desiring or resisting them helps us to be open to new experiences and widen our perspectives.
Click on the audio link below to practise a guided meditation for a few minutes.
Bell The Mind 