Today I was thinking about the acceptance of the mortality of human beings by us. The death of a loved one especially of a child or a younger one is arguably the highest form of grief one can handle and is also most unacceptable for most of us.
But when we look at families of soldiers who have been martyred in war or in border conflict, they appear to have clarity about the emotions that they are going through and also seem to be in control of their emotions. It is not that they don’t grieve or love their son or husband or sibling. Could it be because they are prepared for the uncertainty and are fully aware of the fact that they could lose their life anytime? Could it be because they perceive something more precious and higher than their own or loved one’s lives? A higher purpose perhaps?
Can we bring that sense of purpose into our lives? Because what is the guarantee that WE will be living tomorrow? Or even the next hour? We are as vulnerable to death as any soldier. Then why do we behave as if we are so cocksure about life – a feeling that – oh that cannot happen to me or my family? When there is an earthquake somewhere or death due to battles, somehow, we convince ourselves that it won’t affect us. But now, this pandemic has brought the idea of death too close for comfort in our lives.
When someone wants to talk about death, we shush them up and say think positively. Agree, but we must realise when we talk rationally about death – either our own or others – we are not wishing that we or they die. We are just preparing for the uncertainty. In the same way when we talk about failure or some undesirable thing that might happen in the future, we are talking about preparing for it – not wishing it happens. But somehow in our culture – talking about death, failures, or difficult thoughts and emotions is seen as negative – not as understanding the emotion.
In fact, the human being is the only creature who understands that death is inevitable – other animals don’t understand this. We know that once we die, we will be forgotten except for a few family members who also may not have the time to grieve us as they are too busy surviving and trying to thrive in their world. We are also aware that we are just a speck in this large universe and our death will not make an iota of difference to life in general.
So, is there something we can do to find a ‘larger than death’ purpose for our living? Maybe we can find something meaningful to do while we are here for ourselves. We have no clue why were born on this earth at that particular time to a particular set of parents at a particular place. So probably it is our responsibility to find some meaning or even consider thinking about why we are here in the first place.
Or if that is difficult, maybe it is easier to start with how can I make my living more interesting, enriched, useful to others even. Think creation rather than consumption. Can I create happy moments for myself and others around me? Can I cook healthy and nutritious meals for my kids? Can I reach out to someone and make them feel good? Do I love to go for long morning walks? Do I like to knit? Does writing make me happy? Does running or cycling make me feel alive? What is that thing that I love to do – that makes me forget time and feel fulfilled after I finish. Can I do something which is so engrossing that I forget my hunger, thirst and when I finish feel rejuvenated?
We need to become aware of the things we do, the emotions we experience and the thoughts we have every day. Mindfulness helps us to recognise actions and thought patterns that we have and change them. Once we know about ourselves – we could add a few things that we love to do into our lives for a short time every day. Something that has meaning and makes sense for us. When you become mindful, there is clarity in the mind and you tend to accept the uncertainty or the difficult emotion, thought or even event and respond with the rational mind.
To get an idea about meditation and mindfulness, you might want to checkout the FREE Five-days Introduction to Meditation and Mindfulness here.
Bell The Mind 